Sigh

you guys wanna know what i really feel every single day?

i feel like my life is so messed up. everyday i wake up in the morning wishing i'd have a different day, a day that doesn't seems like "my" everday hellness. gosh. i don't know what to do anymore. yeahh.. i might look blooming or happy everytime i post pictures but the truth is.. i'm not. i'm trying to be happy so that everybody will be happy. tried cheer up even if i know i wont be. stupid isn't it? yeah you can say i LIED that i'm okay.. that i deny it that i'm alright, that EVERYTHING is TOTALLY ALRIGHT but i'm sorry. i just don't want you guys to get so alala (think) of me everytime. not that i'm stopping you but.. i know you guys have you're own lives.. and i don't want that even you are having problems because of me.

i've tried to move on. yes i did. actually, i THOUGHT i did.. but i didn't. everday i find myself thinking about somebody who was very very special to me.. and i guess he still is. weird i know. sigh. i guess i can't just forget everything that had happened.

yeah you might be reading this or not but i don't mind. i want you to know about this anyways. i feel a total shit that day we both last talked. i didn't mean to hurt you but i was just shocked. i'm sorry that i just blew it off like that and said to quit everything between us; EVEN IF THERE WASN'T ANYTHING GOING ON ANYMORE. i guess i loved you soo much that i wasn't able to think what could be the concequences. "HAHA",yeah big laugh for me right? what a stupid girl who blew everything off even friendship just because of the fact that SHE found out HE liked some other girl. HOW DUMB WAS THAT RIGHT? oh yeah i can surely say that. Especially when SHE found out that it was all before when HE started liking her instead. Sigh. I don't expect you to forgive me for what I have done but I just want to tell you the truth. Oh and plus, it was so clear to me that hanggang friends lang din tayo no. i didn't say anything na until then there's still something going on. sheez


I feel a lot lot better. I should have done this long time ago. I meant telling you guys the truth of what i feel. I guess i just can't hide it from everyone... my friends, myself, and him. Sigh.

( if this is soo cheesy.. well sorry cuz its my life, my blog )


Sprained my ankle today. yeah way to go, mimi! :( i'd like to thank everyone who helped me today especially my family, Luna, Jasdeep & Krishna. Man wouldn't be able to survive if you guys weren't there to help me. I seriously Owe you guys one. I sprained my ankle today, and all i could think about when I got home was that how this month be so sucky. Seriously. I had a fight with HIM and we're not talking ever since that day. I had 3 injuries past few weeks. School. And now my ankle. I don't know what i did. I was questioning myself about what is really up with me; why this month have been a total shit to me. Arrrr!!

I want to start a NEW life. I really need it. Oh and by the way.. my mom told me that there is a really high posibility now that we're moving back to Philippines. Yeah i'm pretty excited. Oh and on Feb14-25...... I'LL BE ON THE PHILIPPINES FOR HOLIDAY!!!!! My parents bought tickets today! My dad got so excited when he found out that the tickets to the Philippines is so cheap! Hehe. So yeah! I can't wait to see everybody! :)

I better go. Need to rest now.